PART II OF PART II, THE FINAL CHAPTER

Well it has come to that time, to finish off this blog and pursue my new adventure in photography and focus on that website. I often wonder if I am taking on too much. I remind myself one step at a time and to remember my priorities. From the famous words of Mark Twain,

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did so."

You can view my website at www.divineimagesphotography.com

PART I OF PART II, THE FINAL CHAPTER

School has started and with the three oldest in sports, our evenings are non-stop. As a mother I think you always feel guilty that you can not do enough or be there enough for your children. With the weather changing it is difficult to take Tessa out at nine weeks of age to the football games Savanah cheers at or the baseball games Preston has but I think I can watch Grace's soccer games from the car, maybe?? I think that by next year when she is over a year old it will be easier to bundle her up to take outside. Hopefully we will get a few more nice days!

On another note I have been diving right into photography, I just can't get enough of it! I am taking a mini class on capturing photos of yourself (the mom), as we all know, we are usually the ones behind the camera. I invited Each Day Is A Gift to join me. I haven't started my first assignment yet but am anxious to do so and share a photo with you.

THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOU HAVE TWO UNDER 2...

SCENARIO #1

You are sitting in church, trying to pay attention, when your six year old brings to your attention that your almost two year is getting undressed..to say the least. You look down at her and she already took off her pants and her diaper. You frantically try to grab the diaper - while holding the one month old because your husband is sitting three children down and put the diaper back on. This results in screaming from the almost two year old because she wants to do it herself. Which ends with your husband picking up the child and the pants to get dressed in a more appropriate location.



SCENARIO #2

Your almost two year old takes on the new skill of painting her toenails...by herself. Without getting nail polish on the floor...unless you just haven't discovered the spot where she painted them.

ONE MONTH OLD

Tomorrow Tessa will be one month old, I just can't believe how fast time goes by. She goes through a fussy time in the evening but once she settles down she will sleep good, waking up once through the night. There have been some exceptions, but overall I'm not complaining! Life is busy and looks like it's going to get even busier...just trying to keep a perspective on life passing by too fast!

SHE'S HERE!

Tessa Lee arrived on July 7, at 1:53pm. she weighed 8lbs, 13oz and was 21 inches long. I look at her now and honestly do not know how she fit in my uterus. Jason said that would explain the sharp pains I felt during the last week when she was moving around. She was not the largest, Preston weighed 9lbs, 11oz. Everything went well and I feel so lucky to have five healthy children.

As much as I could not wait to see Tessa, I forgot the range of emotions I would experience afterwards. The lack of sleep was huge for the first week, in addition to our house being very busy with everyone home for the summer and Jason experiencing his busiest time of year as well as my mom being out of town for a wedding. I didn't realize how much I relied on my mom...but if you're reading this mom, don't feel bad, I am glad you had the experience of going and spending time with family:)

I also forgot how I would feel guilty that I would not have as much time for each of my kids with a newborn to take care of. I had to miss Preston's all-star baseball games :( But I keep reminding myself that they have gained a precious little sister and I hope that her and Stella especially have a close bond. Then there is always (for me always), the feelings of, "Is this really the last one? The last time I will have this experience?" I know it is crazy but I have always enjoyed pregnancy, minus the morning sickness.

Postpartum feelings aside, as tomorrow marks the two-week point, I am starting to feel we are getting back to "normal" and I look forward to finishing my recovery from the c-section and returning to my regular workload. Most of all, I look forward to our future with five kiddos and the relationships they will experience with each other.

ONE WEEK AND ONE DAY

TO GO! I have feeling it is going to go by very fast. We've already had a false alarm...so got that out of the way. I have some things I would like to get done before baby "T" arrive but if not, I've learned that it's not the end of the world.










Little baseball players turn into big baseball players....someday. Preston just finished his baseball season with a weekend tournament and hit his first home run. They played three games on Saturday and for two innings he got all three outs, it was exciting! They lost the third game and were out of the tournament but Preston stayed at the field to watch the next game. When he came home he cried because he didn't want it to be the end of baseball. I'm telling you, the kid could literally play all day. Then on Sunday, Jason got the call that Preston made the all-star team. Whoo-hoo, another month of baseball! The only negative side is that both tournaments are the first two weekends after the baby is born...so unless I am feeling like supermom (ha!) I will probably not be there, physically, at least.

THE LATEST NEWS

*School is out, a c-section is planned for one month from today, July 7th. Will I make it? Not many think so but I have never been early before. Honestly, I do not know how I could possibly get any bigger. I have had weekly non-stress tests at the hospital for over a month now and will continue each week for the next month (due to ultrasound findings in 2nd trimester). So far so good. I also had an ultrasound the end of May at 33 weeks. Baby "T" was already 6 lbs and measuring 36 weeks! Grace especially loves to feel her move. Stella says "baby" and will kiss my belly. I wonder how much she really understands of this :)

*I didn't want to even think about potty training Stella until the baby was a few months old and Stella was at least two, but she is going to start on her own. Every time I turn around, the child is naked. When her diaper is wet, she takes it off and says, "pee pee". This was not in the plan, Stella!

*Grace got her ears pierced, and I do not have a picture because she was squeezing my arm so tightly I couldn't move.

*Savanah finished eighth grade, which means on to high school next year, hard to believe. She tried out for cheerleading and made the JV team and we were all very excited for her. Below is a picture I took of her before the big Step Up Dance the last week of school. She is looking so grown up!!
























Preston had the opportunity to be the "bat boy" for the local baseball team. He was so excited and we had a lot of family there to see him as well. He got a t-shirt and baseball which the players signed. He wore a helmet and sat by the dugout. When the team was up to bat, he would jump over the fence and pick up the bat after the player hit. He was featured on the big screen at the field. As soon as we left, he said he wanted to do it again.







































*I had a personal goal of learning to shoot in manual mode with my camera and if I did, I wanted to try to go to the Amy Wenzel Workshop I mentioned before. So I reached my goal and went to the workshop the end of May. If you are not familiar with Amy or her photography, go here to read her blog. She speaks so freely about her faith and how it brought her to photography. To say the least, it was an inspiring two days for me, not to mention all the tricks and tools of photography I learned, meeting some great people and lots of yummy food. I know I need to work on my editing techniques, which I find a little intimidating right now. The pictures I posted above are SOOC, straight out of camera. At the workshop we had four models to photograph and as soon as I practice more with editing I will share some of the pictures I took.

HOPES AND DREAMS

As parents we most likely have big hopes and dreams for our children. I often wonder what my kids will do when they grow up. I don't want to label them at this early point in their lives but if I had to take a guess, it would be this: Savanah - something in the arts, she is so creative; Preston - a pro baseball player, that is all he talks about right now; Grace - a chef, one reason being she likes a lot of different foods, second is that ever since I can remember she has been making her own "recipes" in the kitchen and third is that she can be her own boss because I can't imagine her taking orders from anyone! I have not thought a lot about what Stella might be until the other day when I saw this....





And then I thought tattoo artist....not a typical dream one might have for their child. But you see the possibility, right? Whatever they end up doing, I hope it is what they enjoy and that they will make a difference in the lives of others along the way.

FOURTEEN YEARS AGO TODAY

I officially became a mom. I started having contractions on Friday May 3, 1996 in the morning. The last thing I ate before going into labor was on Thursday evening at my in-laws', strawberry shortcake. Is it a coincidence that in place of a birthday cake this year Savanah requested strawberry shortcake? I remember the ride to the hospital in the Z28 Camaro. Isn't it funny that fourteen years later we will be making the same trip....in a Suburban:) I stayed one night in the hospital when Savanah was born and Jason did as well. In fact he stayed up with her during the night so I could sleep. He told her today that she should feel special because she was the only one he did that with. Actually I am a little worried that he might drop me off at the hospital this time and just pick me up when it's time to go home. LOL, but we do joke around about it. Maybe because there is not as much worry as with the "first one".

We've made it through our first year having a teenager and I have not one complaint. Savanah is such a great help to me and I am inspired by her. I would have to say that my favorite quality of hers is her ambiguity. I still have this image in my mind of her holding Stella as a newborn and loading the dishwasher with her other hand. I can honestly say that if anything were to happen to me, I know she could take over, she knows how to do everything. It is really exciting to think about what she will be like as an adult. Her ideas are endless, her creativity overflows to all that she does...and I could keep going. I am lucky to be her mom.

APRIL HAPPENINGS PART 2

Gotta love the toothless smile of a six year old. Now if that tooth fairy would just get her act together, we'd be all set. Sometimes it takes her until the second night to remember to come to our house! I always feel bad when one of the kids tell me, "Mom the tooth fairy didn't come last night." And I'm sorry to say that this has happened more than once. However, I see the opportunity to teach the kids about having patience and the tooth fairy will most likely come tonight, lol.






















Stella has a favorite blanket. She sleeps with it, carries it around and we take it everywhere we go. We have two of the same so I can wash the one not in use.



Now if you look closely at the two pictures, the one on the bottom is her blankie. The picture on the top, where yes, she is giving me a dirty look, she has several expressions now where she manipulates her eyebrows, anyways this is her pseudo blankie, a.k.a. Jason's long johns. If you look at the picture you can see the arms and the tag. We have found this to be so funny because if she can't find her blanket, she knows what drawer to go to to find long johns. They are the same color, same material, same texture. Actually, if Stella sees Jason wearing these she will get upset thinking he has her blanket on and tries to grab them!























One more note, check this out to read the very inspiring story of the winner chosen by Amy Wenzel for the photography workshop I blogged about in March, WOW:)

APRIL HAPPENINGS PART 1

This month is almost over, I don't know where it went. I've realized there is only about two more months until the baby arrives so I have been busy. Savanah and Preston are in full force with baseball, track and softball. This is the first year Savanah has not been dancing but with those muscles she has developed, she won't have any difficulty playing sports.

Here are some photos of Stella's first bike riding experience.

*

STELLA AND I TOOK A TRIP

to see the butterflies in bloom last week. It was really cute because there were kids there on a field trip and one of the little girls was holding a butterfly and she bent down to let Stella touch it. If you see orange on Stella's hand, it is marker, she was coloring earlier in the day. A little on paper, more on her hands.

WE WATCHED A GREAT MOVIE

last night, maybe you've already seen it, The Blind Side, which is based on a true story. If not, you should really make the time to see it. After watching it, I thought, Can I do something like that? It makes you want to be better. It just takes one person to believe in another, maybe someone you'd least expect and forget about what others might think or say. Doing so could significantly alter the path of another life, or more. What will you say or do?

I REALLY LOVE THIS PHOTO OF STELLA

I rediscovered it the other day as I have been trying to go through pictures I've taken the last few months and make some prints. Notice the tear on her cheek. Also came across this article about including yourself in photos,especially if you are a mom and I know I am guilty of this. When Grace was thirteen days old, I took her for a newborn photo session, just her and I but when I ordered the prints I didn't order any of the pictures of the two of us and now I wish I would have. You will have to read this if you tend to leave yourself out either intentionally or if you are always the one taking the pictures, you just might change your point of view.

OPPORTUNITY

Opportunity - something I have been thinking about lately. I don't know about you, but for me I have to jump on an opportunity right away, otherwise, it is likely I won't take the chance. If I spend too much time thinking about it, I might come up with excuses not to or just plain old insecurities that might hold me back. So go ahead, listen to that little voice and take a chance...before it's too late.










Amy Wenzel is sponsoring a giveaway on i heart faces for a seat in her upcoming photography workshop this May. Since my dive into photography, I have scoped out this artist and as I was looking again today at her workshop info, I discovered this contest, deadline: today. So it's now or never, how convenient for me. To enter, you need to write 600 words or less on how you inspire others and what this might mean for your photography journey. Here it goes:

I want to start by saying that I feel out of my comfort zone, I mean who am I to say that I inspire others? I love to be inspired but wouldn't call myself an inspirer. Especially this winter, there have been days on end when I haven't left the house. But I am listening to my little voice and I will write the blog I originally intended to do today, coincidence? As I am realizing, there are so many ways to inspire, not all are great acts proclaimed from the highest mountains. Some can be very small and discreet, yet impacting.

My favorite time of year is Christmas, I love the way people act towards each other, everyone seems to be a little more thoughtful. I know Christmas is probably far from your minds now but I have been thinking about ways to make it better for next year, more meaningful since I feel I missed out a little this past year. My favorite Christmas memory was when we adopted a family through the United Way. We picked a single mom with children close to the ages of ours. We took our kids shopping so they could pick out items for the family. As we went, we talked about what the kids would like. After shopping, everyone helped wrap the presents. There was also a trip to the grocery store for items for the adopted family's Christmas dinner and my kids reminded me to get cookies and sprinkles for the family to make. I had the opportunity of delivering the presents and food to the family myself which I chose to do and will not forget how gracious this woman was as she briefly explained her story to me and how she was planning to get back on track. It was a most humbling experience.

I could not help but to think of these people on Christmas morning because there was so much satisfaction to know a family would have a better Christmas because of something we did. I may not be as inspiring as some people are but I know that on that day, I put a bug in my kids, to think about others, to grab an opportunity when one arises and how we are obligated to pay it forward. We were not able to take on that project this past Christmas due to the difficulties with my pregnancy but I have been on a mission to plan for next year and what we will do. Yes there are other times and ways to help all throughout the year but there is such a need during the holidays....so if you are wondering what to get those hard-to-get family members for Christmas, consider adopting a family together and fore go the usual gift exchange. I can guarantee you won't regret it. Maybe it will become your family's tradition.

Oh and how will this affect my photography journey? Photography as a hobby has allowed me to work on my own schedule, my own time, but if you are a mom, you know that nothing is your own, especially your schedule and your time. By attending this workshop, I will be able to immerse myself in lessons on what I have a passion for photographing: children. Amy Wenzel provides techniques for unique angles, fashion for photos and photoshop tricks, all in two days....can it get any better?

HERE THEY ARE

Stella wonders why she has a bathing suit with beads if she can't take them off and play with them!





I love the color of the water in the Bahamas, wish we had that here.



Does that sand taste good?





All of the kids stick their tongues out when deep in thought, they get it from their dad, lol.



Poor guy, not only did he have strep throat, but he ran into a railing, got a fat lip and a loose tooth!

I DON'T LIKE TO GO THIS LONG WITHOUT POSTING BUT

we came back a week ago from a vacation and I have been trying to catch up since then. We went to Florida and then took a 4 night Disney cruise which was a great experience for the kids. Jason and I have been on a cruise before with Carnival, but let me tell you that Disney really knows how to cater to kids.
I will share with you that I am an avid hand washer. I wash my hands all the time because I am around kids a lot and I am terrified of getting sick after all the morning sickness I had with this pregnancy. So I was very pleasantly surprised when I discovered that everywhere we went on the ship there were sanitary wipes available to wash your hands. Before you entered a restaurant, there was someone standing in the entrance handing each person a wipe before you sat down to eat. So needless to say, I didn't need my bottle of sanitizer that I had brought along for this purpose.
My favorite part of the cruise was the food...maybe because I am pregnant...maybe because all six of us ate breakfast, lunch and dinner together everyday when we are lucky to eat dinner together two times a week at home. The kids always had their own menus to choose from and when the waiters brought their food out, they cut it up for them. I will have to tell you that Grace ordered off the adults' menu more often than the kids, she loves seafood. In fact she ate so much we had to cut her off because we were worried that she would get sick. I was really impressed at how many different foods Savanah tried and liked. I'm sure you've heard the saying about good food bringing people together and there is truth to that. It was something we all enjoyed.
Stella, being 17 months old, had a great time. You would think at that age she would be too young to enjoy all aspects of a vacation but she really did, she liked having all of us together. Each night we went to see a "Broadway" style show and the best part was that we could take Stella and didn't feel out of place and no one cared if there was a baby that started crying.
Of course, it would not be right if everyone was healthy the entire time. Preston and Jason had strep throat on the ship and had to see the doctor. They gave Preston the positive test strip as a souvenir. The poor guy, he couldn't even eat his Mickey Mouse waffles for breakfast, but the meds did kick in fast and they both recovered.
I did not take as many pictures as I would have liked too. When it came down to it, it was challenging to chase four kids around and have my camera out at all times. So I ended up leaving it behind more often. I have the most pictures of Stella because I took the three younger kids to the beach in the Bahamas while Savanah and Jason went snorkeling and Stella was just so captivated by the sand and water, I loved watching her. So the pictures are coming soon.

IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?

Well I have had two ultrasounds since I have posted the picture of the baby. Initially, we thought we would wait until the baby was born to find out the sex....but we changed our minds. Just a couple things they are checking the baby and I for so it was very tempting to take a peek. Drum roll please....a little baby girl! So if you've lost count, that's four girls and one boy. I will say Preston was upset for about an hour or more because he was really hoping for a brother, as he was last time too:) Actually, his exact words were, "Really? Another stinkin' girl!" By the evening he was recovered and life was back to normal for him. I am sad that he will not have a brother but on the other hand, I am excited for Stella. Being 21 months apart, they will have fun times together and they will be close. And as far as Preston is concerned, having four sisters will make him a really great dad one day. He is so good with Stella, it is sweet to watch them and I'm sure he will be with his new little sister as well, even if she is stinkin'!

IT'S ALL WORTH IT

The extreme morning sickness, the headaches, the bed rest....it's all worth it when you see an image like this.

MAKING OUR HAND PRINT IN THE WORLD & SOME UPDATES

* First, I thought I'd let you know that I can feel the baby moving now which is so exciting to me, this process of life amazes me! Now if I can just shake this terrible morning sickness and headaches I am still having...they are dragging me down. Trying to keep my chin up, I know with my last pregnancy I was in good shape by now. If you are one of those people who do not get sick....I don't like you right now.


* Since Stella is not tall enough to look out our windows, we thought we would put a step stool in front of the living room window to let her look outside, watch the kids get on the bus, etc. It did not take her long to realize if she picks up the stool and carries it around, there are so many more possibilities in her life. For example, I went into the the bathroom and closed the door. Stella cried. Stella stopped crying. It was quiet. Then I saw the doorhandle jiggling and I was surprised, I didn't know she could reach it. Within a minute the door flings open and there is Stella, standing on her stool with a very satisified smile on her face.






* When I was in the kitchen recently, I noticed this little handprint (Stella's) on the dishwasher and it made me stop what I was doing. I thought it was so significant and it made me smile. There are always prints and smudges on the appliances but this was different. It made me think about how everytime we touch something or someone we have the power to make a difference, whether it is big or small. Stella is so young and says few words but she makes such a difference to so many. We all have the power to leave our handprints, seen or unseen, quietly or with great excitement, significant or not so much. Where are you leaving yours?

A POEM FOR BABY by your mama

Boy or girl it doesn't matter,
All I know is I'm getting fatter.
Morning sickness comes and goes
Soon I won't see my toes.

But it's all good, you will see
For one day soon there's going to be
Another precious hand to hold,
More memories to make as we grow old.

One more personality, unique
One more pair of little feet.
One more highly spirited soul,
One more heart to make us WHOLE.

NEW YEAR, NEW BEGINNINGS, NEW POSTINGS

I knew it was time to start blogging again when I would lie awake at night thinking about things to write about. I took a break, not so much because I wanted to, rather, I just didn't feel up to it or anything else to be honest. The good news: we are expecting a baby, yes #5. The bad news: I had complications from when I was less than six weeks along, forcing me to be on bedrest for a month and then restricted for a couple more weeks after that. During that time I had the worst morning sickness I have ever had. I realize this may not be a factor for some women who are pregnant but I have always had morning sickness and this time almost put me over the edge. I could not function. At all. So here comes the part that I was deciding whether or not to tell you and why I put off blogging for so long, but for me writing is theraputic. I need to get it out and move on. We were having two babies but one did not make it. The image of the two heartbeats pumping simultaneously is forever ingrained in my memory. But it time to move on and be grateful that I have one little one who's doing well.

So I want to start this new year by focusing on positives, I think I am on the road to feeling better, at least the last two days! My husband, who has encouraged me to keep blogging because he likes to read the posts, has been Mr. Mom lately. He has taken care of the kids, cooked, done laundry and a myriad of other things when I could not. I have so much appreciated everything and am now trying to get back to "normal". This is all I have in me for now but check back because I hope to be posting more often.